Hunny, I'm Home

Alyssa Johnson Blind Spot Creatives Breathe Festival 2018

A picture captures a thousand words... I'll do my best to spare you.

This photo was taken at one place (of many) that I've been grateful to call Home.

Once upon a time Home was the house I built childhood memories in, the place where my family rest, where I wandered the barns and backroads, where I played chicken on bikes. It's a familiar feeling that picks you up and sets you down in a different headspace. It's comfortable, cozy, safe. It's where you can leave behind the insecurities, the masks, the timidness... the place you can drop your bags, unpack, kick off your dirty ass shoes and relax.

Home.

Though the definition of home has stayed the same, maybe even amplified with each year that passes, the scope has broadened.
Home is no longer a singular point on the map. It is not geographic, bound to lines. Home has become an all encompassing feeling - one that seems to wrap me up and float me along. My whole life has been a beautiful orchestration of bumping into, stumbling upon and running towards hundreds of incredible, inspiring, kind, encouraging strangers that turn into family. Mirrors reflecting everything I am, everything I've been, everything I aspire to become. Home is every ephemeral connection, every long lasting relationship.

I've had some dark days and I'm positive there will be more throughout... but what I have realized is Home is inside, and if you can stay in touch with what’s in your heart, you will light the way. We always have what we need. Home is being comfortable with who you are and why you are here. It is accepting life and the circumstances granted and making the most of every God Damn breath.

All our searching, seeking, clinging, chasing, running from, running towards, filling up, emptying out is a call to Home. But we dont have to scream and shout... shhhhh. Home is here. Where it's always been. Our longing is for a belonging... love yourself. Love every fucking flaw. Every impulse. Every habit. Every quirk. Every birth mark. Every fear. Every let down. Every embarrassment. Every fall. Every failure. Every goodbye. Every struggle. Every reaction. Every smile. Every laugh. Every challenge. Every road block. Every strength. Every weakness. Every freckle, wart, fat roll. Every God damn piece of you, love it. Because you're never going to find Home until you find yourself.

I spent a lot of time hiding from home, looking for a new one, crying for greener grass… 
I left a million times only to gain new eyes.
Here’s the thing, home, our true nature, is patiently awaiting our attention.
We only leave to return again…..

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone.
It doesn’t matter how far you went.
You can always come back singing Hunny, I’m Home.