If You Find Her, Hold Her


Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love - it's a waste of time. 
There are too many mediocre things in life. 
Love shouldn't be one of them.


We often think a soul mate is the perfect fit. Someone who compliments you in ways you've never experienced.

Often it's an image of perfection, at least that's what mainstream media and entertainment wants us to believe. But, how boring would it be if all you ever did was agree?

You don't want someone who is going to tell you what you want to hear, You need someone who is going to shake you up and challenge every belief you thought was true.

You don't want predictability,
you want someone who is going to cause chaos in your life.
She won't be graceful,
rather she is going to come in kicking and screaming.
She is going to eradicate any ideas you had for normality.
She is going to expose you to your fears, doubts and any insecurities that have held you back.

She is going to tear down the very walls
you thought were protecting you.
She is going to make you look deep into who you are,
What you believe and for the first time in life
she is going to make you stare yourself straight in the face.
She will be a mirror into all the beauty
and the pain you've held and hid.

She will mark a
beginning & an end.

She will inspire you to be better.
She will motivate you to chase the dreams
you thought lay dorment in the depths of your mind.
She is going to show you all of your barriers,
addictions, and negative thought patterns.
She is going to break you wide open
and strip you of any superficial layers.

She is going to make you feel naked, completely unsheltered, and then she is going to hold you and tell you it's alright.

She is the home you've been patiently waiting for
and she will provide you with warmth, acceptance,
and understanding every step of the way.

She isn't going to come when the time is 'right'.
No, that's not her style -
She is going to come when it is least convenient
and she is most needed.
She is going to love you from a distance,
watch you grow and struggle,
and then when you've finally loved yourself enough -
she will quietly be waiting with open arms,
ready to pull you in and start anew.

She doesn't expect you to understand her, all she asks is that you

She is going to be intense, serious-
and at times abrasive- 
though none of that matters.
Deep down you are going to see how gentle and kind she is.
She is going to prove her love in the simplest ways.
You will crave her tender touch
and experience withdrawal with it's absence.

This woman is going to dance around in your dreams.
She is going to shine a light when skies are grey.
She will listen to your thoughts even when you don't want to talk.
She will see through all the masks you wear.
She is going to confuse you and question you-
but her patience will keep you around.
If it's slow, it's worth it.

She will be a mystery,
one you will be curious to explore.


Her mind is wild and her heart full of passion.
She knows what she deserves and that is a life time of love.
She wants you, but doesn't need you.

She will forgive you with sincerity-
And she will apologize when she is wrong.
Humility is what she does best and she asks that you laugh along.

Life will no longer be black & white. She is going to color your world with imagination and fantasy.

Her mind is often in the clouds
and she looks to you to bring her back down to earth.

This woman is special.
She is going to be full of life and beauty,
often it'll bring a tear to your eye.
This woman is rare and she is imperfect,
but she will be herself
-nothing less, nothing more.
She is unapologetically authentic
and for much of her life she resented it-
But the woman who can love herself,
and can see through the veil,
knows what she deserves. 
And if you can see it, you become it.

Her freedom is what brought you together,
and often it will make you nervous,
though it is this same freedom that keeps you coming back for more.

Love her. Listen to her.
Don't make her guess.
She does't expect much,
but she also doesn't wait around.

If you find a woman like this, make her yours.
Grab her hand and never let go.
She will fill your life with love and nothing will ever be the same.
She will take away your breathe just to fill you up again.
She is the essence of beauty
and she is the strength you'll need to
mend the depths of your deepest cracks.

She can not be tamed, nor would you want to.
Instead - run away with her thoughts,
be apart of the vision,
and embrace the wholeness.

A woman of this kind is going to be complicated and messy,
but she is going to be worth it.
She is going to feed your soul
and hold your heart in the palm of her hand.
As long as you love her, she won't leave you.
She will be the first thing you think of each morning,
And the final thought before you rest your head at night.
This woman is the half that will make you feel whole,
The missing key you've been waiting for.

You're not the first person to love her,
And you most likely won't be the last.
So give her your everything and let her know how real she is.

Don't tell her she is beautiful, tell her why.

Don't be shy and don't hold back-
This woman is going to be your weakness
though she will always provide.
Let your spirits tangle together as
cohesively as your bodies laying atop the green grass.
Explore and discover the World together.
She isn't looking for a savior, she's looking for a sidekick.

A woman like this is your door to infinity.
She will be limitless and unbound.
If you can stay present and grateful
She will gift you the deepest rooted affection.
When you find a woman like this, hold her tight.

Journal Reflection
October 15, 2016