Two weeks ago I rented a little cabin just off N61 in Tofte, a stones throw from Superior. I had all these creative plans to add photos to my portfolio, write a new story, hike the Saw Tooths & eventually relax... The months leading up to the solo 'retreat' were heavy. I moved to Duluth to persue this childhood dream of sharing my art, sharing the little pieces of my heart that I felt were important, impactful. On the way I acquired hours of volunteering, half a dozen odd end jobs and the normal distractions and obligations of 'adult' life. Though I was creating, there was very little cohesion. Scattered, that's the word. In the busyness, much of what I was sharing was impersonal, ambiguous and full of hesitation. Cause, damn, I couldn't even breath, let alone honestly reflect or express what I was feeling.
**I arrived at the rustic Firefly Cabin with lymph nodes the size of California grapes, shoulders tighter than a ball of snarled yarn and expectations surpassing ma's Thanksgiving Dinner. I spent nearly the entire time curled up in bed. 14 hours sleeping, the remainder watching winter melt away. As the spring puddles filled I pondered how I got here again... this busy, this unsettled, this anxious mess of trying to get ahead, trapped in the thoughts above... Do we ever learn, or is life a constant process of relearning? These fleeting moments of quiet and solitude always provide the same result - affirming life is much simpler than I make it, much fuller than I notice. I've been screaming for a slow down for years... it hasn't come yet, but they say practice means progress.
**They say you've gotta fall in love with the process. Day by day, let the seasons change. I'm ready to get back to simply living.
@ Tofte, Minnesota